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people and places and the practice of being present

This past year, my senior year of college, has felt like a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I’ve learned a lot about different types of people, experienced new places, and battled my constant inner drive to want to do more while attempting to sit in the quiet of the place that I was in. This was the last year of  my “adolescence” and a closing to the only chapter of life I’ve ever known. Because of this, I attempted to make it a year full of memories that didn’t just feel like memories in the making but  actual moments that encapsulate life to the full and life in the present. Overall I really just wanted to be present to the people and the places that made up this year full of lasts. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking about the question,  “what does it mean to be present?”  A year ago I would have struggled a lot more than I do now to answer a question that is nearly impossible to answer. Yet near impossible, I think that it might be one of the most important questions in this life. Our lives are made up of only our present moments. The actual definition of the word “present” is “existing or occurring now.” When we live in the now, we are often misguided about where we actually are. Often, and personally speaking too often, our minds begin to wonder. Our past is filed away in collections of memories, both good and bad, happy and sad, wanted and unwanted. When we are not awake to the present moment, our minds have the time to wonder to only think about what is ahead or behind us. We pull files from these places and watch the memories from our past replay in our heads until we convince ourselves we are content in our current state. In the present, we also sit on the longing of our future. The desert of the unknown is set in front of us, where we sit back and look at scenarios of “our perfect lives”, in which we know will probably not occur. We constantly distract our present selves by looking forward to the next thing, month, year until we forget where we are in the now. So trying to answer the question of what it means to be present is not easy, because essentially we are never fully present. 

In a world in which we are constantly distracted, being present is not just a definition of time but a discipline of our minds. To exist in the now is to be aware and awake to the people and things around you. I think to live fully present is to sit a little more still, look a little further, and listen a little closer. To live present is to live closer to the source of life itself, for the source of life itself is present, still, and steady. I’ve noticed that in the present there is peace, that the past and future can’t offer. Personally I’ve found this peace offered through the colors, light, and patterns of my natural surroundings. When we quiet our minds and offer our bodies a moment to sit still, we get a glimpse at the present. The thing is, our world is perpetual and we have to fight for the present moment. In order to get as close as we can to the present, first, we must quiet down our lives and be still with our surroundings. This requires practice, and with any practice, it develops over time. But dang, it’s so worth it. 

Which brings me to the ending of my senior year. The world was struck by a worldwide pandemic that just about put a damper on every “last” I had planned for my time in college. Last spring break, last time to ever be a student in a classroom, last college party, last time being with all the people I’ve spent the last four years with...all of that was thrown out the door in a matter of days. This virus sucks, a lot, and it has affected all of us in many ways. The last bit of my senior year wasn’t anything that I thought it would be. The coronavirus took away a lot, but at the same time, it gave the whole world, including myself, a little chance to slow down from our hurried culture lives and gave us time to be truly present. Although it wasn't ideal, it was as if everything I had learned this year came full circle, and for that reason alone, I am grateful. 


To sum up what I’ve been learning and also challenge myself creatively,  I had an idea at the beginning of my senior year to try and conceptualize the thought of being present to a moment. I wanted to create something that could put what I’ve been thinking and feeling into a visual piece that I could use to hopefully inspire this practice for others and use it as a personal keepsake of all of the great memories I created during my last year. To do this I bought myself a cheap plastic $30 camcorder from Walmart in hopes to capture different memories on video in a more unique style than just on my iPhone or DSLR camera. Through editing, I wanted to represent the past, present, and future through different techniques. To represent “the past'' I used lots of motion, quick cuts, and overlay to resemble memories that are on constant replay in our heads. To represent “the future” I used shots that show a long road or distance ahead, to represent a far out longing of how we perceive our future. Finally, I would juxtapose these with static shots to represent “the present” as quiet and still, noticing the little things like colors and shadows, things I’ve learned to appreciate more of. So here’s to all the people, all the places, and all the things I've learned in my year of “lasts.”

Sunday 04.19.20
Posted by Jaime Arthur